February 1, 2016

Social Media Detox

First there was a week of junk food detox, and now a week of social media detox. What is happening to me?! Much needed things, people. So, I really like social media. There are numerous bloggers/shops/fitness accounts that I love to follow to gain inspiration/motivation from. I recently started getting really bored with some of the accounts I follow and just needed some fresh new people to fill my feeds. I found some fun new bloggers as well as some fitness accounts to help keep me motivated while journeying down my own fitness path. About the same time that I was enjoying the new content flowing through my feed, I also started feeling super frustrated. I found myself going to bed at night super irritated with certain things in my life, really down on myself as a mother and wife as well as my appearance, plus just feeling jealous. It had been going on day after day, night after night, and was getting worse. I could feel the frustration building and the tears getting ready to burst out of my eyes. Finally, on a Friday night we were going out to dinner and I decided to vent to Bodie about it in hopes of getting some advice. After some talking I realized exactly what the problem was. It hit me right in the face. 

It wasn't the fact that an exciting business idea I had caught a huge snag, or that we are still renting and haven't bought another home yet, or that I still have 35 lbs to lose and still wear maternity clothes often because they are comfortable and I don't want to spend money on other clothes until I lose this stupid baby weight, or that I spend the majority of every day in my pajamas with 95% of my conversations being with a baby and a toddler, and really just long for a solid, unbroken night of sleep and a long hot shower by myself. Nope, my frustration and built up tears weren't because of any of that. They were because I was comparing myself and my life to all those other people on social media. Facebook, Intsagram, Snapchat, Periscope, you name it. All those stunningly beautiful, skinny Moms who seem to get all out model-ready every single day, and have perfect beautiful homes, and perfect families, and awesome blogs with thousands of followers. Dang. Why can't I lose my baby weight that easy? And why can't I get up, get showered and makeup on every morning? And why are we still renting? And why don't I do fun things like they do with my kids? And why can't I figure out how to fulfill my need for an outlet outside of being a Mom? And how can I grow my blog? It just keeps piling up higher and higher. It was at that moment that I realized that I needed to take a break. So for one week I decided to delete all my apps, gather my thoughts, and take time to figure out me. I needed to put aside all those other people and just focus on my strengths, my talents, and more importantly, my family. I can't believe how great it felt! Besides ridding myself of those jealous, ridiculous feelings, let's talk about how disconnected I was! I can't believe how often I opened my phone and went to tap an app without even realizing it until it wasn't there to tap. Seriously like 50 times a day. Oh, time to nurse Dash so let's check Instagram while we're at it. Oh, time to put the kids down for a nap? Let's check Facebook. Bathroom break? Snap chat. Time to make lunch? Maybe there's a good periscope to catch up on. All dang day. Disconnected. Also, there's nothing like putting social media on hold to help you see how often your husband is on his phone as well. It's craziness I tell you! 

So here I am a week later and I am feeling much, much better. I am learning to appreciate more the current phase I'm at in life; the life me and Bodie have created, and my children who need and deserve more attention. I am grateful for my body that carried and birthed 2 perfect babies. Really, pregnancy is super easy for me, never a single nauseous day. Birthing has always been great, too. My milk supply is awesome and provides insanely cool nourishment for my babies but it does not help me lose a single pound, like nursing does for so many other woman. And that's okay. Plus, my kids are not hard, difficult kids  So if having extra pounds that I have to work my butt off to lose is my payment for all of that then I guess I'll take it. I know once I lose this weight I will be thankful for the challenge that will have made me stronger in more ways than one. I signed up for my first half marathon a few days ago and I am really looking forward to that. I am at peace with the fact that there are going to be many more days that I scramble to get out of my pj's and into real clothes with my hair pulled up before Bodie walks in the door at 4pm. Even though we aren't in our own home, we live in an awesome rental and are surrounded by the best neighbors in a super beautiful area.  Even though one business idea has been put aside, there are others that I can work on and be excited about. Even though my blog is super small it's okay because I love blogging and it's just a fun thing for me to do. It's my outlet.  I have re-downloaded the apps to my phone, and have committed to myself that I will be better. Better at not comparing, and better at not checking my phone so often. 

There are now designated times to catch up on my favorite bloggers, shops, and family/friends happenings, plus my own personal blogging along with the occasional picture snapping, of course. (I'm all about capturing those special moments!) Outside of those times the phone stays put in it's own little place. While I am going to do my best to not compare and to not be so hard on myself, I do still realize that there are areas in need of improvement and that settling is not an option for me. This is crucial. I think that it is very possible, and necessary, to give yourself a break but to also set goals in all areas (personal, family, health, parenting, etc). Goals are so important. I am making more of them. It just feels good to have things to strive for and work on. It doesn't matter if it's learning to cook more, creating more fun games to do with your kids, or reading a book. All I know is that I needed that break, I need to not compare, and I need to set more goals. If you feel like you are disappointed in things, comparing, and frustrated, I challenge you to take a break and figure out what you can do to feel better. Don't go day after day allowing yourself to feel like you aren't a good mom, wife, friend, etc. And don't compare, just don't. Or at least try not to. It's hard. Let's all keep that in mind while we scroll through our feeds. I know I will! 

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